Well, I’ve survived over a year now. A year ago, after a trying pregnancy, I gave birth to my handsome trio. And life hasn’t been the same since. Some of the things that I expected have been true. I’m in a sleep deficit that I will never ever be able to regain. The hubby and I talk in 30 second increments. My daughter is obsessed with being a big sister and has made it her life’s work to be sure the boys grow up tough, if you know what I mean. I had many well-meaning friends and family give me all sorts of tips and advice before we had the boys. Some of them were beyond true, and others were nonsense. Most of it I’ve had to learn along the way myself. After all, the pool of people who can give advice about having triplets because they’ve lived it is pretty small (and, no, having three small kids at different ages is not the same as having triplets). However, there are some aspects to my new life that have surprised me. So today I want to share the 5 Things I Wish Someone Had Told Me Before Having Triplets. They are not in any kind of order of importance. Some are humorous, some are not, and some seem my seem obvious, but they are all absolutely true.
1. Cancel Netflix. Buy batteries. Kid’s toys take batteries. Kid’s toys x3 take even more batteries. All the toys my boys like use batteries. They also each have a crib soother on their cribs that use 4 “c” batteries a piece. The soothers do the trick- but each one requires a battery change about once a month. We spend approximately $10-$15 dollars a month on batteries. I honestly would have never imagined that we would use this many batteries.
2. Growing Boys Have to Eat. Before we had the boys I would think far ahead in the future to the teenage years. I would imagine how much food that I would have to cook on a daily basis. My husband is a youth minister, and we’ve had teens at our house plenty of times, so I know that they can put back some food. Thank goodness I have plenty of time before that happens. Ha. Think again, naive chica. At a year I already have to cook over double of everything. A can of biscuits doesn’t last through two meals anymore. I cook Pioneer Woman quantities of food. Last night we destroyed a rotisserie chicken like it was nothing. And the boys are not prejudiced when it comes to food. Spicy? Bring it on. Mac and Cheese? Their favorite. Green Beans? Yeah, they’ll suck on those in a heartbeat. Phew. Please hang on while I go start on tomorrow’s meals…
3. They are actually individual people. Well, duh, you say. I think I had referred to the boys as “the triplets” so much in my mind that they started to form into one entity. And the some of the advice that I received from other people only enforced this. “Put them on a schedule. Make them all do the same things at the same time.” “They all need to eat the same foods.” “All their names should match. And their clothes!” Well, guess what? They are individuals as much as they are brothers. Someone is going to have a food allergy. Someone is going to be more mobile and burn more calories, therefore eating more and maybe even napping longer. Someone is going to cut teeth before the others and wake up screaming after an hour. Do I wake up the entire crew just because someone decide to take a poo in the middle of naptime? Umm, no way! Treating them as a group is helpful– I won’t deny that. But being so obsessed with it that I can’t be flexible will only drive me crazy.
4. As Tracy Lawrence sings, You Find Out Who Your Friends Are. Having triplets is life changing. Let me say that one more time so you’ll hear me. Having triplets is LIFE CHANGING. My time, energy, and focus is not the same as it was a year and a half ago. It took a few months, but my husband and I discovered our real supporters through this experience. We had”friends” who suddenly disappeared when our availability ended. We have other “friends” who take it personally when we can’t hang out like we did pre-triplet. Having triplets will change your friend base, but my hubby and I count ourselves as lucky. We’ve discovered the people that God has placed in our lives to truly be understanding friends through this life altering experience.
5. The first 9 months are terrible, followed by the most fun you’ve ever had in your life. The first 9 months are still a blur to me. There is little to no time to have that new baby cuddling experience that most mothers crave. The challenges of prematurity are obstacles that take several months to overcome. It seems like there is always “something”. Someone who needs a specialist or an orthotic or a reflux medication. Many of these things are typical newborn issues, but add them times three and even the most organized person in the world becomes severely overwhelmed. Hang in there. Once the babies get acclimated to being on the outside, and all the newborn kinks get worked out, there is nothing more fun than this incredibly unique experience. At a year old, my babies share a bond that I myself don’t understand. But they express it in the most enjoyable ways. They laugh together, babble at one another, and have some sort of communication that doesn’t require words. They make up their own little silly games (Who can push the most little balls through the gate? Or stash the most toys in the banister?), and I wonder how on earth they thought of them. My guys and their sister add the most joy to my life, even on the days that I’m not necessarily in a happy mood.
There is nothing in the world like being a mom of multiples. I thank God every day that He entrusted me with the opportunity to be on this roller coaster of a ride.
Happy birthday to your little sweeties! And congratulations to you for doing such an amazing job 🙂
Thanks, Kara!
I love those little boys! This post made me laugh and tear up a little….
They love you, too!
Bless you! You must be super mom 🙂
I love this post, Melanie! Also, girl…you’re dang funny! I chuckled to think of you cooking Pioneer Woman portions for your fam. I’m sure that humor got you through a lot of the sleepless nights and challenges of parenting triplets. You are a hero in my eyes! Thanks for inviting us into your life in this way. 😉
Aww…thanks Lauren! And the only thing I can do most of the time is laugh! 🙂
I can’t imagine! I often think of you, and think, how in the world… I am so happy you wrote and shared this. AND, I am dying over that picture!
Oh my gosh, that photo of them is SO precious! I love your list! Especially the part about remembering they’re individuals and not just one entity…and the batteries.
Wonderful words from one awesome, super organized, super cool, supermom! Love your family of 6!
Than you for your sweet compliment!
Our 3 sons will be 36 years old next month. Their brother will be 35 in June. It has been exhausting at times but never static or boring. They are good friends. I refused to define them by dressing them the same except one time, compare their achievements or treat any of them as a mere extension of another. They are close to each other and to us. They are successful in their chosen careers (medical, building, design and aviation) and we have been blessed with 5.5 healthy grandchildren – 4 boys and 2 girls. Advice? Read to children before bedtime every night and during the afternoon rest time, eat dinner as a family every day, don’t sweat the little things, get involved in sport early – team sports (if you don’t show up, the team can’t play so always go. It instills the start of their work ethic), don’t compare them, create one on one opportunities whenever you can, encourage joint and separate friendships and always, ALWAYS continue to love their father.
Thank you so much for your advice. I haven’t met many triplet moms who have all boys like we do, so it’s very nice to hear words of wisdom from a mother who has been there and done that. It sounds like you raised wonderful successful sons. What a blessing!
By the way….no it wasn’t a surprise because the second ultrasound found 2 heads but 5 legs. Yes, they were nearly full term 37 weeks). My husband had to spend their first 7 months in a foreign country for work so I took them from Melbourne, Australia to Washington DC to live with my parents who were overwhelmingly wonderful. I am now 62 years old and a very proud wife, mother, mother-in-law, grandmother and high school principal.
PS. My husband came to us when he finished in Malaysia and wouldn’t you know it? Our 4th son was born 9 months later! We’ve lived in Melbourne, Washington, Kuala Lumpur, Melbourne again and then Sydney. The boys now live within 15 minutes of us and come home every week, with their families for Sunday Family dinners. Life is great!
I am always so inspired to hear from mothers who have had triplets and lived to tell about it! Thank you so much for sharing your story with me!
BTW That’s amazing that you went to 37 weeks!
Hello Melanie,
Just read your post and it is indeed very funny. I just had triplets 10 weeks ago (2 boys and a girl) I have had so much advice from singleton mothers and to be honest, clearly I ignore them. I don’t ever think people can compare having three kids at different ages to having triplets.
Mine are still in NICU which is heartbreaking everyday, born at 30+ 4 weeks, something is always going on (good or bad), the moment I step into the unit, I wonder what I will be told, either by nurses or doctors. Never the less, I await anxiously the day I can take them home.
Reading from a fellow triplet mum always makes me feel nice, I too feel blessed to be a mother of three miracles. Any further advice will be greatly appreciated.
Congrats to you! This is definitely a stressful time. Right now the priority is getting through the NICU. That is a task in itself. I do not miss those NICU days at all. The beeps from the monitors and the stress from feeding times….it takes a lot of emotional willpower to get through it. Thoughts and prayers!!
Love reading through everyone experiences. My triplets are seven and the best advice I can give is there is a way to do everything you just have to figure it out. Also expect it not to go so smothly the first time you do anything. God bless you all
Yes to both of these!! Thanks for sharing.